When Your Wife Leaves You Alone With The Kids And The Baby Won’t Stop Crying: A Survival Guide

When Your Wife Leaves You Alone With The Kids And The Baby Won’t Stop Crying: A Survival Guide

When Your Wife leaves You Alone With The Kids - A Survival Guide

Your wife spends all day, everyday with the kids. She deserves a few hours out with her friends without the kids. But as soon as she leaves…

The baby bumped his head and won’t stop crying. The two year old dumped his milk all over the house. You’re supposed to clean the house, but you can’t seem to start. There’s toys everywhere and you stepped on a lego. You turned on the TV to calm the kids down but the only thing on is Martha Speaks. You’re so tired that you keep dozing off. You made coffee, but you spilled grounds everywhere. The coffee is delicious but you can’t seem to drink it before it gets cold.

What do you do?

Here’s some simple things to do that might help you out.

  • Don’t call your wife (she needs the night off)
  • Bounce the baby and pat his back
  • Check his diaper
  • Change his diaper even if you don’t think it needs changing (because you’re wrong)
  • Don’t yell at the kids
  • Yell at the kids (but only a little, don’t go overboard)
  • Speak in tongues
  • Pray for God’s peace
  • Turn on some Veggie Tales
  • Heat up your coffee in the microwave (or drink it cold, you pansy!)
  • Ignore the crying (he’ll be fine)
  • Call your wife (everyone has a breaking point)

Do these things when your wife leaves you alone with the kids and the baby won’t stop crying and you’ll find your night getting better (especially when you wife finally comes home).

Josiah

Josiah Douglas isn't a super smart guy (even though he has a bachelor's degree), and he doesn't know a lot about God (his degree is in theology), but he does think a lot and sometimes he writes those things down so that you can read them too!

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